Confessions of a Virgin …….. Blogger!

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If you want to know how I feel about threesomes, thrill rides, Dogs Licking your Face, Brazilians, Acai Bowls, Business Class Travels and “dare I say it” BLOGGING – read on…..

blog creativity
Its time to get creative…

It’s nearly the end of 2015 and I’m told that blogging became quite popular 10 years ago.……… Is this actually true? Am I really that much behind the eight ball?

Well then….. 10 years ago I was in the initial throes of nappies, bottles, late nights, early mornings and very little time to even get on the computer, let alone be writing a blog. Actually, when I think about it, I was actually writing a music score for my first feature film. That was quite a biggie so whilst I wasn’t attending to my babies, I was shipping them off to “Mother-in-law” (MIL) so that I could bury my head in a pair of headphones and piece together a kick ass opening soundtrack. It was hard work, but it all came to fruition a couple of years down the track.

That was ten years ago and geez, so much has happened since then, including the opportunities to make money writing blogs.

blog posting

To Blog Or Not To Blog – Whose tried it?

I’ve done a little bit of research on the whole ‘blogging’ topic and have found out that it was way back in 1994 that personal homepages came into existence. I’m now beginning to show my age by admitting that I’d finished my Uni Degree (Bachelor of Education) and had been teaching for three (3) years at this point in the ‘blogging’ timeline. Internet still wasn’t on the radar as far as I was concerned.  It wasn’t until 1997 that the term “Weblog” was coined (and still I hadn’t experienced the capabilities of the internet). It was in 1999 that “Weblog” was shortened to “blog” by programmer Peter Merholz which was about the same time that Blogging Platforms came into existence (Blogger, Word Press etc).

blogging platforms

The word “blog” became more widely utilised but it wasn’t until five years later that Merriam-Webster declared the word their “Word of the Year”. Wow, I didn’t know a “Word of the Year” even existed, let alone BLOGS!

Fast forward to 2004 (pregnant with first child) and still I had no idea that blogs existed. A strange form of ignorance does exist between musicians and the ‘real world’. Whilst I had my head buried in small child antics and music production software I remained completely oblivious to the various forms of internet capabilities and certainly had no time to ‘browse the internet’ in order to learn more about it. Kudos to those of you who became bloggers way back when…. Which brings me to my very first confession.

BLAH BLAH BLAH! – BLOGS BLOGS BLOGS!

I read my first ever blog 5 weeks ago – thanks to my  Australian Writers Centre (AWC) tutorial, introducing me to the “Blogging for Beginners” course.  Since then, I haven’t really ventured too far from the suggested bloggers (the ones that actually make money) but I’m convinced that this is a great portal for those of us who have trouble articulating thoughts, feelings and emotions in real life. I’m a fan of the blog for this reason only. I honestly have trouble articulating my thoughts in both a personal and public forum. I’m not shy by any stretch, but I’m not really one for over sharing or venting to my friends. I’m happy to talk with others about certain things that I’m passionate about, but “most times”  the words just don’t seem to come out the way I’d like them to. I think blogging will allow me to do this. I think!!! I hope…… I’m sure my audience will inform me otherwise. Either way, my dogs love to snuggle between my ug boots as I sit at my desktop (yes, I actually still use one of those) and write about what the heck I’m passionate about at the time (Blah Blah Blah). And guess what? The next few confessions will highlight me in a eight point nutshell.

1) Threesomes: Don’t Knock It Till You Try It!!

don't knock it

I’ll start with a BANG and let you know that I’ve actually been involved in two (2) threesomes……. Yes, Just two (2) and they were about 20 years ago now (ooh that takes me back!) One was with a guy and a girl (you know who you are…) and the other one was with two guys. Both experiences involved A LOT of alcohol, no drugs (I don’t do drugs – but that’s another story), but not too much to not remember what happened. There are some areas of vagueness (is that a word?) but I pretty much remember the majority of the shenanigans. Let it be known that this was a considerable time ago when I was happy to experiment as a single person. I trusted the people whom I experimented with. The truth being I just wanted to try it out. “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it” I always say…..   I still know the people whom I experimented with and hang out with them occasionally. Well then. The cat is out of the bag, but nothing that crazy as I’m sure it’s a common occurrence in girls in their twenties. Although I wouldn’t know because I’ve never really spoken to anyone about it. Wow, I feel cleansed….. (no, not really) but while I’m on the subject of ‘cleansing’

2) I make irregular visits to a psychologist  – To Get Me Through Unpleasant Moments.

psychology humour

Speaking of cleansed…. Who has a psychologist on speed dial? Not me, but that doesn’t mean to say that I’ve never felt the need to see one. I was 23 when I attended my first psychologist’s session. I had just separated with husband number one (I’m still with husband number two) and I was struggling to convince myself that I’d done the right thing. My mum (the wisest person I know) suggested that I see a psychologist as a means of getting some clarity. One single session with this guy, and I was happily on my way to single-dom, guilt free single-dom (with a hint of sadness). From this point onwards I have continued to see different psychologists at different times in order to clarify, justify, cleanse or just vent to someone who hopefully knows how to respond. I find them useful because it means that I don’t have to bother my loved ones with anxieties, frustrations blah blah blah. Loved ones are too invested and sometimes feel too pressured to FIX rather than listen. I am one of those people who want to FIX so when someone starts to download to me, I quickly refer them to a psychologist for counselling. I do this with compassion and love of course…. Nothing to suggest that I’m dismissing their deepest darkest worries, but I really don’t feel qualified to just listen. There’s an inner urgency to FIX their problems, not just listen to it. Which brings me to my next confession.

 3) I’m not very compassionate (well so I was told at my last visit to a psychologist);

Compassion fatigue
I suffer “Compassion fatigue”

An observation made to me by psychologist #10 (just a couple of months ago). I was outright infuriated and am still wondering if it was a strategy of hers to convince me otherwise. I agree, I’m not very patient…. But I’m pretty sure my tolerance levels are above average. There are times where my tolerance and compassion comes crashing down and I just can’t stop myself from getting frustrated with people. I am particularly prone to frustrations when I hear people complain about “First World Problems”! Maybe I should just listen to their gripe, but really???? I usually have to bite my tongue and walk away thinking that that person probably won’t be someone who I’ll proceed to hang out with. Someone who complains about “jet lag” after flying Business Class is also on my “Compassion Fatigue” radar. I really, really, really have to bite my tongue in this instance. It’s hard! (To bite my tongue – not to fly Business Class).

4) I bat above my average – Quite successfully for 14 years now! (he  he)

14 years Ago. He hasn't changed and I've aged 14 years!
14 years Ago. He hasn’t changed and I’ve aged 14 years!

I’m the first to admit that I chose well. My husband is just four years my junior, and yes I did pluck him from obscurity (me  30 yrs/him 26 yrs). How good was I? I have always believed that I have a tendency to bat above my average, but I do also believe that looks are just a small part of why I chose him in the first place. He’s French/New Caledonian, he has beautiful olive skin, and his mother and sister have similar complexions so I can only hope my kids take after his side of the family. As he gets older (now 41) he grows more grey (not dissimilar to George Clooney) but he still just looks so damn hot! You put a cap on his head to hide the grey hair and he still looks like he’s 26! Lucky me. As I get older, my hair gets finer, more colourless, my skin wrinkles and blotches and I have to work a lot harder to keep myself from looking like his mum. Ha ha. I kid you not!! I was visiting my mum in the nursing home the other day with my husband (who was wearing a cap) and was asked by the intelligent kitchen staff (green-eyed monsters) whether or not he was my son. BAM! Really? He’s my husband you stupid people!! I kept my cool and only justified their comment with “Their husbands must be fat and ugly”! We’re nearly 13 years into our marriage and still going strong. We both work hard to be really good for each other and for our kids, but at the end of the day, we’re a perfect fit and I could not imagine being with anyone else. I’m pretty sure he feels the same. People say that I am lucky….. Hmmmm I always have to think twice about this comment because I really believe that people can create their own luck. What do you think?

5) I have never had an Acai bowl!

Boost-weight-loss-topping-your-bowl-antioxidant-

As I walk down the streets of Burleigh, Nobby’s and Broadbeach on the Gold Coast, I am confronted with many shops, cafes and food outlets selling what’s known as an Acai (Pronounced Ah-Sah-ee) Bowl. Apparently this healthy breakfast alternative is the diet friendly treat that marries the smoothie with the bowl of granola. I must admit, it does look pretty yummy, but the truth is I have never felt the need to buy one. Maybe I should engage my “don’t knock it till you’ve tried it” philosophy in order to get the low-down on why on earth every Tom, Dick and Harriet seem to be consuming it. The bowl is full to the brim, so there’s no doubt that there’s value for money, but I’d rather eat healthy food that doesn’t have the ‘Look at me… I’m being healthy” status attached. I guess I’m too much of a dag to follow trends or too much of a tight ass to buy something that I could make at home for half the price…. I think both excuses are pretty true of me. What ‘fad’ have you never gone for?

6) I love dogs (any size, any breed), even to the point where I allow them to lick my face (at times)

My 13 year old Jack Russell
My 13 year old Jack Russell “Cobber”.

I believe that owning a dog is one of the best decisions I’ve made in life. How could you not be a dog person? I also happen to like cats (not as much) but found out during my teens that I was allergic to them. I’d probably still have one (just one) if it wasn’t for my constant eye gouging as a result of the cat allergy. I grew up without pets but always had friends who owned animals (and still do) and had a best friend in primary school that lived on a farm and had so many animals roaming the property. The reasons why my parents chose not to own pets was actually a ‘sound’ one, and although it didn’t quite make sense to me at the time I am glad they didn’t succumb to pet ownership when I was a kid. We went on too many holidays (my dad was a teacher) and no decent coastal caravan park would allow animals. I still believe that you can have animals and still go on holidays, but it does make it more difficult. I get it now. That doesn’t mean to say, that I have chosen (in my adult years) to follow the same animal-free life. I too, am a teacher and although I managed holidays, there weren’t many where I could take my border collie. Lucky I had a boyfriend whose parents lived on a dairy farm. They were the perfect recipients for my active sheep chasing pooch. My border collie (who has now passed away); has now been replaced by my (our) loyal 13 year Jack Russell and 3 year old Chihuahua. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine owning a Chihuahua. We got him 1 year ago from the Animal Welfare League (AWL) and adopted him until he was no longer sick, and have never taken him back. He fits our family perfectly and just adores Cobber (the Jack Russell) who remains the loyal boss of the family. I always wonder what dog I would get next and am honestly not fussed. I love all dogs. My ex had a bull mastiff x Great Dane, my friend owns a greyhound (Vince), my husband had a   (Cougar), my best friend a fox terrier, my Father In Law (FIL) a Shitzhu. They are all gorgeous animals with loads of love and loyalty to give. It’s good to know if you are a dog loving person or not, because I do believe that you either are or you aren’t. Most of my friends own dogs. Maybe that’s a sign of the type of person I’m attracted to. We also own a blue tongue lizard (Lenny) and three awesome chickens (Leaf, Salt, & Popcorn). They all form an integral part of our little family and a great development of empathy for our kids. From sources of comfort to sources of DISCOMFORT….

7) I don’t mind getting out of my comfort zone, but I will NEVER bungee jump! PERIOD;

Superman Ride - Movie World - Soooo Much Fun
Superman Ride – Movie World – Soooo Much Fun

There are certain things that when viewed up close (or from afar) seem rather scary. I was at Movie World the other day and took a look at the Superman Ride and told myself ‘No Way’! I watched my husband and son return from the adrenaline packed ride with massive smiles and the words which suggested that it was my turn next. I’ve been in this situation before where I sat comfortably at the foot of the Giant Drop (at  Dream World), to have my 9 YO son beg for me to go on it with him. I presented him with an outright NO, only to be followed up with “But mum, you always tell us to get out of our comfort zone” BAM!. Oh geez, I do too………. Time to step up and practice what I preach, so up I went, hand in hand with my son. What a beautiful sight that must have been. The things we do in order to be a positive role model huh? Needless to say that I HATE heights and this ride plays on all the emotions of a person who fears that very thing. I must admit the worst part was the view from the top and not knowing when that thing would drop. I proceeded to close my eyes and scream (I’m not normally a screamer) the whole way down. Two seconds in total – (BIG WHOOP), but the fact of the matter was that I did it. I conquered a fear I never considered conquering. As I sat watching the Superman Ride at Movie World, I knew only too well that it would be me doing it with my son next. The knowledge that I can now handle (although still considerably anxious) adrenaline filled rides makes for a fun day out with the family at the various theme parks on the Gold Coast. I often sit back and wonder whether or not I’d actually bungee jump and as long as I’m alive that answer will always be NEVER! My motto of “don’t knock it till you try it” will forever be rejected when it comes to bungee jumping. So who has tried it? Who would do it again? Who has tried it and will never do it again? Who will never try it? YOU AND ME BOTH! Challenge rejected!

8) I fear that I will lose all my beautiful memories as I get older; 

My Mum - My Inspiration
My Mum – My Inspiration  (The Reason Why I Write)

For anyone that knows me, they are acutely aware that I’m an advocate for ‘Dementia’ awareness. I have watched my capable and intelligent mother descend into the depths of this awful disease in the knowledge that she’ll never get better. The knowledge that there is still no cure and that this disease is genetic causes me great fear! I have witnessed (first hand) the affects this disease not only has on the person themselves but family and friends around them. I’m not a doctor, I’m not a scientist, I’m not an academic but I am very much aware that prevention is the only thing that I remotely have control over. I dedicate wholeheartedly my knowledge of brain health and what I can do to either prevent or prolong this disease from rearing its ugly head. I may seem a little obsessed by this possible outcome but I have chosen to use my fear as a ‘motivation’ to reduce my chances of developing dementia. I want to live a long healthy life and remain in control of all my faculties. I don’t think that I’m asking too much am I? I live by two mottos… a) Prevention is better than cure…. And b) Be proactive rather than reactive. I’m enjoying life immensely knowing that I am doing something positive in response to something negative. My mum is my inspiration and my motivation to enjoy every moment that life has to offer.

So who remembers their first blog post?

I can’t wait for your comments which will provide me with further inspiration for future blogs!

My lifestyle experiment has just begun.

Jenx

#liveinthemoment

 

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14 thoughts on “Confessions of a Virgin …….. Blogger!

  1. Well done Jen. This is a blog I was writing when we lived much nearer to you than we do today. Maybe I didn’t share it with you then. We don’t keep it up anymore.

  2. i’ll be one of your blogee’s any day 😊 what is a regular blog reader called anyway?
    Bungee jumped, hated it. Sky dived, hated it. Will do anything from heights, but generally end up on the ground in the foetal position, embarrassed and nauseated so i don’t believe you’re missing anything there.
    I definetly believe in luck, I have to pinch myself to believe how lucky I am some days, though I certainly believe some people are more receptive to opportunities and more able to recognise positivity in there lives than others. But perhaps that’s a personality trait and thus, the result of a little bit of luck too. Good questions!

    1. Thanks for answering my questions Shelley! I often ask them but people must think they’re rhetorical!you’re right on the luck front! Maybe the 80/20 rule (80% good management 20% luck)! I just like to think I have control of things more than i probably do! That’s definitely a personality trait of mine!!!yes, we are super lucky aren’t we! Life’s pretty damn worth living! How’s your studies coming along? Thanks again for your feedback!!! 😎x

  3. Oh Jen. It takes a lot of courage to lay your cards on the table and open yourself up like that.
    What a roller coaster of emotions I just experienced!
    It’s very reassuring to listen to your life journey and to know that you have to live a little to learn who you are.
    As for the Acia bowl, I’ve never had one, but I have had a organic Acia berry powder on my yoghurt and it was delish …maybe we should get one and share it!
    I’ve skydived and I would do it again In a heart beat! It was the best adrenaline rush and I have never felt anything remotely close to the freedom that I felt on that day.I would never bungy as it looks like it could put your back out!
    Your number #8 brought a tear to my eye. I am the compassionate one who sees the strength that is required when their loved ones have incurable diseases.
    You have a special gift to touch people with raising awareness. You make me proud to know you.
    Keep going. It’s very therapeutic!
    Take care x

  4. WOW! Great blog Jen. Interesting, entertaining and thought provoking! Love how you tell it like it is – no sugar coating, just you being you! Yes you need to try Acai bowls – at least once and even though he is wonderful, I think he is the lucky one!
    Keep them coming. Xox

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